Ramblings.

Here we are a year later. I'd do that recap thing but what's the point? This is just going to be a current stream of consciousness of things that I've been thinking about or going through lately.

I had Luke pretty young. 24 isn't young based on previous generations or even my old high school peers who are working on their second marriage and fourth kid. Living in the city though, women have their babies a little later because these are the people that focused on their careers before starting their families. This makes me a young mother.

No one really puts emphasis on how parenting is like going through high school again. What I mean is, dealing with other parents is, many times, a pissing contest. "Oh my son makes straight A's" or "Oh I work out everyday for three hours, manage my own company, haul my three children to various after school activities, AND live in a million dollar home."

We put unnecessary pressure on each other. We still try to one-up each other like it's high school. Why? I don't understand. Add to it that we live in an affluent part of Atlanta and I'm *always* the youngest and single mother.

As with high school, I've never really  cared what people thought of me. Would I like my child to make all A's? Sure. Is he ever going to? Probably not. And i'm 100% OK with that. All I have ever asked of him is to try his hardest and pass his classes. He's 8. He doesn't try his hardest but somehow his A, B, and -yes- a single C, report card qualified him for gifted testing. I'm not sure how he pulled that one off but he did. We don't know the results of those tests but we'll see. I'm not holding my breath because it really isn't something he's interested in. But back to parenting being a lot like high school-

I didn't care in high school and surely don't care now. I'm proud of what I provide for my son and he's a generally happy kid. I couldn't ask for more. I'm happy for those that live in large houses and have all of the nice things. Please don't pass judgement on me, I'll do the same in return.

Why am I talking about this? Well, the following conversation went down yesterday and *rage* doesn't even cover how it made me feel.. (Luke told me this story when I picked him up from school yesterday)

Luke talking with his friend on the playground:

Luke and friend in agreement: "We should ask our parents if we could have a sleepover!"
Luke's friend: "We should! But my mom said it will have to be at our house because you don't have a dad and your mom can't watch two kids."


RAGE. RAGE. RAGE.

Before I pass judgement as I previously stated I wouldn't do, I'll say that I didn't handle this conversation with the dignity that I should have.

I was visibly angry. How could another mother dare say that to their child about mine? Doesn't she know that kids this age will repeat anything we say? How dare she judge me when she doesn't know me? Did this plant any ideas in Luke's head? Make him feel bad about his life? Question my parenting?

I told Luke I'd email this other mother if he wanted me to. We have an open relationship. We talk about anything because I don't ever want him to feel like he can't say something to me. He knows that I will go to battle for him if he ever feels less than he should. But as everyone who knows Luke knows, he is way more mature than I will ever be. He said :

"I just told him 'thats' fine'. You shouldn't be mad either. It doesn't really matter what people think because I have a lot of people that love me."

And there you have it.

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I have wanderlust. Hard. Bad.

Since finishing school three years ago, I've made it a priority to travel. When you're a 24-year-old with a baby, you just can't do all of those fun things because you're caring for another life. The cool thing is that now Luke is older and he's able to accompany me on our journeys. We've been to NYC twice now [me three times], Florida too many times to count, SC, NC, [driven thru] AL, etc. Next month we are both going to Nashville together to visit friends and then the following weekend I'm taking a solo trip to DC.

I feel like exposing yourself to new places/experiences/cultures is vital to personal growth. Taking my mom to NYC twice really opened her mind. She's been around the world because she grew up in a military family but hadn't actually traveled much into her adulthood. She's a small town Southern woman who will tell you she's a Republican (this is debatable). Opening her eyes to the fact that Northerners really aren't the evil people that the South has portrayed them has opened her mind the process. I'm thankful she is adaptable.

This goes the same for Luke. I visited Florida every year with my family.. some outliers were visiting Tennessee, Oklahoma, Texas, and Colorado but the majority of the time was spent in the south. I'm thankful that we were able to take vacations as many Americans can't these days (another argument for another day), but I want to expose Luke to everything; different regions, countries, etc. We both took our first plane ride together two years ago. What a lucky kid! I'm hoping to expand my horizon as well as his in the process....

Which leads me to... we're driving the Pacific Coast Highway this summer! We're going to fly to San Francisco and end in Los Angeles or San Diego... we haven't decided yet. We can't wait. I'm hoping for the car ride to be screen - free but you never know.


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Lastly, VOTE.  I remember last election year I knew who I wanted a to win and I went to an election party (RIP Manuels Tavern) but I didn't really care about politics. I feel like the older I get, the older my son gets, the even older my mom gets, I need to have a voice. SO VOTE.

Welp.

Well.... life is this never-ending, whirlwind and I'm constantly trying to keep my head above water.

We had a great Christmas, I turned 31, we tubed down Stone Mountain with my family, celebrated the new year playing an intense game of Mall Madness, I started working at Think Interactive with my best pals again, began teaching a new group of students at The Creative Circus, dyed my hair once, cut my hair twice, spent Valentine's day watching 50 Shades with my aunt, Mom, and Sarah then roller skating with Sarah, pretended to snow twice, and booked our next trip to New York. Whew.... it's been fun.

Maybe the last Christmas spent at my Granny's house.

This is 31.

Tubing down Stone Mountain.

I feel like if it's going to be 16 degrees, it should snow.

I work downtown now. It's kinda the best.

Luke had a field trip to the Atlanta Symphony. 

He wore a suit because he'd wear a tie everyday if I let him.

Valentine's date.

New hair cut/dye.

Still got it.

That one time it snowed for 2 minutes and made me the happiest girl in the world.

All three snowflakes on his glove.

Two month catch up.

Whew, it's been a while. Things-


Halloween-  I've got to brag about this spectacular child I'm raising. As we were trick-or-treating, there was a little guy, 4 years old, who was going to house to house with his mom. He was terrified to go up to the doors by himself. Luke went up to him and said, "Hey. I'll show you what to do". The kid fell in love with this older boy who had taken him under his wing. He spent the entire evening taking the little boy to each door. It made me so proud to be his mom. Did I mention he went as Luke Skywalker? MY DREAM.

Thanksgiving- It was the first major holiday without my Granny. The siblings are going to sell the house so this holiday season may be our last there. There seemed to be a missing piece while there and tears were definitely shed. Luke came up with this great idea to have everyone sit in a circle and tell what each person was thankful for. It was actually such a good idea.

Laid off- Yes, Friday I was laid off. 2 weeks before Christmas. Did I mention I'm the sole provider? Ah yes. It was a humbling, devastating, and terrifying situation. By Tuesday I had a job offer. By Thursday I had another. Since I have enough money to last another month, I accepted an offer (more money too!!) and asked to start in the new year. It turned out to be a blessing because now I get to spend the entire holiday season with my boy. After I accepted the offer today I finally felt that Christmas spirit. Better late than never!

Family pictures. It was a Christmas present for my mom. I love them.

Henry wearing his Cone Of Shame. 

He injured his eye.

Luke's tennis lessons came to an end. He got a level 3. (SO GOOD)

A day in my life.

Taking a cue from another mom blog, I decided to document "A Day In The Life". She's a stay-at-home mom with four(!!) kids so her life is very much the opposite of mine. I think it's great though. We're all different; we lead different lives, have different rules, beliefs, parenting styles.. but at the end of the day-- we're the same. We are all just doing the best we can for our kids.

When people find out that I'm a single mom, the first thing they usually say is, "I don't know how you do it." Well.. this is how I do it. I do it because I have to. If I didn't do it, who would? I'm a mom. It's a job I take very seriously. I do it because I want to. I do it because this little human depends on me. He loves me more than anything in this world (expect maybe Minecraft). Sure, it is not always easy. We argue, we fight, he talks back, I lose my cool. Sometimes I throw a tantrum. Sometimes there are tears. However at the end of the day, we are a team. We have done this together for the past seven years and I think we're pretty darn good at this thing called Life.

So anyhow, I documented a day in our lives.

6:30AM - My alarm goes off. I hit the snooze button and sleep another 10 minutes. Sometimes hit the snooze button for another 20 minutes of sleep. It just depends. 

 

6:40AM - I roll out of bed because my dog is jumping on my face. He knows that when my alarm goes off it's time to get up. I put on some flip flops and a sweater, put the leash on Henry, and take him to do his business. I absolutely hate this morning walk as the days get cooler. We come inside and I hop in the shower.

7:15AM - I'm out of the shower, done with my make-up and drying my hair. I decide to get the kid out of bed. As I open the door to his bedroom, Henry runs inside and jumps in Luke's bed then proceeds to lick his face and hop all over his body until Luke comes to. The kid is a deep sleeper. He is also NOT a fan of mornings. Sometimes I let him sleep until 7:30 just because I know he'd rather sleep. I'm the same way.

7:20 - He's finally out of the bed and has face-planted on the sofa. Henry is right next him waiting for him to get up. Henry is a lot of help in the mornings. I've laid Luke's clothes on the sofa next to him and after telling him a few times to get his clothes on, I'm now almost yelling. I turn on the TV to Spongebob and he's awake. I got back to straightening my hair although I'm not sure why as it's raining outside and it's just going to curl again anyway.

7:30 - I'm done and I do a quick check to make sure Luke is still awake. He is and he's dressed. I take some detangling spray to his head and brush it. The kid has the worst bed head you can think of... but I can't bring myself to completely re-wet it every morning. Detangling spray is a life - and time - saver. I ask him what he wants to eat which usually means a Kudos bar. This is the part where other moms start judging me. That's ok. We aren't big breakfast eaters but I feel better knowing he has something in his stomach. Again, we value sleep over breakfast. He eats it and brushes his teeth. He has tennis lessons today after school so I make sure he takes his racket.

7:40 - I lock Henry in his kennel and leave Nickelodeon on for him to watch during the day. He stays in a kennel because he's only one and while he doesn't have accidents in the house, he has bad separation anxiety and finds comfort in his kennel. I leave the tv on because I'd hate for him to get bored. :)



7:45 - We are already at school. We usually walk to school but this morning I have a parent/teacher conference so I'll need to head to work directly after. We hug, he goes to his classroom from the carpool line.

8:05 - This morning is different. I check in to the office of his school and head to my conference.

8:40 - Conference is over (it went great) and I'm heading to work. I work in Buckhead and while it's technically 5 miles from my house, it can take 45 minutes to get there. Thank you, Atlanta traffic. This morning there's a car stalled in the turn lane and there's nothing I can do about it. It takes 40 minutes.

9:20 - I arrive at work. I have a flexible schedule so as long as my work is done, no one minds when we come and go (if it's reasonable). I can also work from home which I'm super grateful for especially with Luke's sickly lungs.

I fire up my computer and head to the break room to brew a chai latte. (I'm not a coffee drinker.) With my drink in hand, I check my emails and check my tasks for the day. I then read cnn.com and npr.com because I like to know what happening in the world.

10:00-12:45 - I start my to-do list and debugging some code I wrote. I also do a QA on another person's work. I also attend some meetings.

12:45 - I decide it's time for lunch so I grab my food I brought and head to my car in the parking deck. I know it sounds strange to spend lunch -alone- in my car but I enjoy it. It's my time to decompress. It's my "me" time. Sometimes I use this time to take a nap. Today I called Luke's old pediatrician to get his medical files transferred to his new doctor. This is also the time that I call my mom. Depending on her schedule, we sometimes talk the whole hour. Today we talked the full hour.

1:50-4:50 - I go back to work and attend some more meetings and finish building a responsive email for a client and send it to project management. Tomorrow is our company halloween party and my department is dressing up as pacman and the monsters so we decide to build the pacman costume out of cardboard.

5:00 -  I pack up to pick up the kid from school. Traffic from Buckhead to the Highlands at 5pm is touchy. Sometimes it takes me over an hour to get him but since it's a Wednesday, it's not so bad. During this drive home I usually call my mom again and we chat. In case you didn't know, she's my best friend. Talking to her also calms my road rage.

5:30 - Arrived at Luke's school. I gather his things and we head home. He's upset because I've forgotten to grab a drink for him before I left work. "I NEED my drink, Mom." Again, we live five minutes away. I think he will survive.



5:35 - HOME. Unload the car, take Henry for a walk, and come back home. I decide what to cook for dinner and begin cooking. While it's cooking, I set Luke up at the table to finish a project he has due Friday. He's not happy about it. He'd rather be watching tv or playing a game. I understand, kid. Lucky for us, his after-school program does his homework with him so usually all we have to do is read a book and study spelling words. Not this week. This is his first major project and he's over it.

6:00 - Dinner is done. For Luke's hard work I cook his favorite: fresh corn on the cob (cut off for me), baked potato (he eats two), steak, and a salad. Luke's happy to take a break as am I. Lets be real: when your kid has a school project, you also have a school project. There was a lot of googling about solids, liquids, and gases. Also, my dinner table looks like a hot mess because of all of the project fun going on.

6:30 - Dinner is over and I tell him to continue his project so he can finish it today. His reply, "But it's due Friday!" I know this however, I teach a class on Thursday nights and I don't get home until 10. It must be done tonight. He concedes. I help him finish it up and give it a once over for accuracy.

7:00 - THE PROJECT IS DONE! We started it Monday and we've finally finished. I feel like I can breathe. I tell him to go do whatever he wants for an hour. He decides to put on his Halloween costume and practice being Luke Skywalker. WIN. I feed Henry and start making Luke's lunch for the following day.

7:15 - Henry's full. Luke's content. Lunch is packed and now I start doing the dishes. I don't have a dishwasher so I have to hand-wash them. Sometimes I hate it, most of the time it is my quiet time.

7:30 - Dishes are done, kitchen is clean. I realize we haven't studied his spelling words or read an AR book. I interrupt his play (I HATE doing this) and go over the words. He misses five out of twenty but I don't care. The test isn't until Friday and we both need a break. We also decide against reading a book and I only feel partially guilty.

8:00 - I sit down on the sofa. This deserves it's own time slot because it's a huge part of my day. I know it won't last long but it's refreshing. I watch an episode of whatever show is on. The World Series is messing up my tv schedule and I don't appreciate it. Side note- Tuesdays and Thursdays are my tv nights. I make it a point to sit down at 9pm on these nights and watch the shows I love.

8:30 - I start threatening Luke if he doesn't get in the shower. 8:30 is his last chance. He almost always uses his last chance and he's finally in the shower. Naturally, he's yelling from the shower for me to come to the bathroom. I get up. He just wanted to tell me something cool about Minecraft. I go back to the sofa.

8:45 - He's out. His teeth are brushed. He's watching his last YouTube video before bed. I pour a cup of soy milk and ask him what cereal he wants. Shredded wheat it is. He eats a bowl of dry cereal every night while in bed. Again, not a battle I'm going to fight.

9:00 - Lights out for Luke. I take Henry out for a bathroom break and head back in. Sometimes I use this time to clean the house, do the dishes if I haven't gotten to them, watch tv, etc. Tonight I'm writing this blog post and grading projects and providing feedback for the students in my class.

11:00 - I go over my code I'll be teaching tomorrow night and make sure I have my own lunch and dinner packed for tomorrow. Thursdays are busy day. I work at my full time job then teach from 6:30-9:30pm. My sitter has been out of town and so my mom is picking Luke up after school tomorrow. Have I mentioned how amazing she is? Last week my friend Ben watched Luke for me. I have really great people in my life.

11:30 - I watch Jimmy Fallon/pay bills/go over my to-do list/worry about whatever is on my mind.

12:00 - I do a once-over Luke's homework folder to make sure I've written a note to tell his teacher he will be a car rider tomorrow as well as make sure he has all of his paperwork for the next day. I pack his snack and decide to take a shower. I shower at night to get more sleep in the morning. I showered this morning because I had a conference.

12:30 - I *need* sleep. Henry and I head to bed and it's lights out.