happy 6th, little dude!!

Dear little dude,

you are SIX. that's a whole hand PLUS one! what a year five was. you started and finished kindergarten.. where you realized you are not one of those kids that enjoys going to school! everyday you'd ask, "do i have school tomorrow??" and get really bummed when the answer was yes.  it wasn't that you were bad at school, you're great, i just think the whole -getting up in the morning- business isn't your cup of tea. i get it completely!

speaking of kindergarten and being great, you never once had your clip changed the the yellow or red! you always came home with an agenda full of smiley faces. i'm incredibly proud of the kid you are developing in to. you have such a tender heart.. i hope you keep that it that way for as long as possible. you always share without being told to, you always follow the rules from your teachers, you're just a good kid! despite your hatred for sight words... hm... but math? you're awesome at! and our next-door neighbor is your art teacher. she happens to think you're a really good artist. i'm so. proud.

this year you also outgrew being allergic to cheese. that's huge. you love cheese pizza but still a bit hesitant to try most foods that are white or just look like they are from the dairy family. i get it though. you also made it through the year without being hospitalized! yeah!  such a vast improvement from last year's five times. maybe your little immune system is growing.

we also experienced love this year. we expanded our "team" when i had a boyfriend. you showed me how open you were to a new guy in our lives. you embraced it and fell hard. i was so impressed with your ability to just love someone. i'm sorry we broke up, buddy. i know how much you hurt after that. i'm so thankful we got passed it. you're so brave. so strong.

a few of your obsessions: ring pops, burger king, your dog lucy, your ipad, minecraft (major!), mario bros, moving to atlanta, spongebob, wreck it ralph, angry birds, top forty songs (boo) and did i mention minecraft??

i love you, little dude. you impatiently came into this world and haven't stopped since.  this year has been tough for us; me commuting to atlanta and missing so much of your life.. but you've never once cried. i could take offense but i don't because you tell me all of the time you can't wait to move to atlanta. you understand why i went to school. you get it. you know i love you. i finished school for you, babe. you're the best thing that has ever happened to me.

love you luke elijah-
mama

 

 

time to check in.

life's been crazy lately. this week has been a pretty terrible week. the kind of week that makes you want to scream (and i did!) "can i pleaaaase get a do-over??"   my car overheated on monday which lead to towing it. i was in midtown and had to pull over at the gas station, buddy's. should have grabbed a king of pop as a i waited for an hour but.. i didn't.  i started stressing about costs because this is just not the time for unexpected costs to pop up. $470. that's right. so i drove my friend's car all week.

i lost my driver's license and had to pay for a replacement... my instructor was not the happiest with me for not turning in my homework (hello, i have a j-o-b. i'm busy). anyway, just a fun week. in hindsight, it probably wasn't such a big deal but at the time i was over it. 

everything i just said should also be erased because my problems are NOTHING compared to oklahoma. oh man! the tornadoes. my heart breaks for the people who lost everything. those innocent child.. i donated to the animals as i always do. it's just so . darn . sad. however, my brother is ok! he lived one county over from here it all happened and he's ok. no harm done. a cousin of mine lost a few things. i can't imagine.

==

today at work i was listening to taylor swift all. day. long. i couldn't get enough. i bought the Red album when it came out and i fell in love with it. unfortunately, i was also in love with a boy at the time. so i took a hiatus from the cd. there was time every song made me giddy inside like one of those girls. haha.  so it was great to finally be able to listen again to those songs and look back with a smile but glad i'm where i'm at now.

me at the office..

ROUGH.

i don't know.

look at what my beautiful little boy made me!

it's really funny because i do. not. cook. 

flashback thursday instagram.

man, i was a cute kid.

i went to a meetup last weekend for rails girls. 

they gave us some sweet, nerdy glasses.

i didn't tell him to do this.

be still, my heart.

rockin' some mailchimp and big nerd ranch paraphernalia.

crazy loon. 

<3 p="">

this, that.

i joined a bikram yoga class. i go about three nights a week. HOLY CRAP IT'S HOT. i love it. i'm already more flexible. you should see how high i can lift my leg behind my head! YAY. i'm hoping it will help the circulatory issue that has reared its ugly head.

found an apartment in the highlands. hardwood floors, super cute.
good thing too because i don't have anywhere to stay in atlanta anymore!

luke will be an official first grader in a few weeks (eeeek).
booked a trip to disney to surprise dude on his birthday.
i'll be done with school in june.
i'm working in atlanta.
OMG. I'M A GROWN UP!

and now..... pictures as of late!

oh m y g o s h ... 

ALLERGIES ARE KICKING MY @SS.

a little blinky arduino action at work.

inman park restaurant festival = 

sippin' on gin and juice.

look at me being girly!

i'm kinda lovin my shrinky-dink necklace.

georgia represent!

this is a picture of how i feel when being

 in bumper to bumper traffic

in downtown atlanta.. on my way to work.

LONG HAIR, DON'T CARE. 

and go bravos! 

(can someone please make kimbrel go back to rome? thanks)

seriously. he's huge. i love him.

and he loves brian mccann!

i was feeling good stuck in atlanta traffic.

on the way to yoga..

you like my sweet new tattoo??

i do!

hollar.

luke's first field day!

he rocked that sack race!

(and the 50 yard dash..

but he SHINED at the hurdles.

dude can jump)

the reason i'm doing this.

the reason i'm doing anything.

it's all going to be worth it.

be intentional.

i was thinking yesterday about how differently parenting has become since having a cell phone became a necessity. i remember when i was growing up and  my mom's friend would call. i would get so disappointed because i knew that meant my mom would be on the phone for an hour.. at least.  it seemed like an eternity back then; her sitting in her chair.. talking.. and not paying attention to us. i grew resentment for her friend, "julie" (as it appeared on caller id).

now i think about the average usage of my cell phone activity. true, i don't actually talk on the phone much.. but i do check facebook, emails, pinterest (isn't that a time-sucker??), etc. i rarely even text these days.. but the amount of time i am scrolling through tmz or searching for random crap,  i could be giving my little dude my undivided attention.

i have always been proud of how well my main squeeze plays by himself. he's a true "only child" in that respect. he's happy to get his mario dolls and make them fight and have conversations. he's always been independent. but have i made him that way by making him second priority to my friend's status updates? although a bitter pill to swallow, i could answer that with a  "probably". how unfortunate.

i remember him being born-- fresh and asian-looking-- like it was yesterday. he will be SIX next month. this is time i will never get back. it goes by so fast. too fast.  i wonder what he will think when he looks back on his childhood. what he'll think of me. will he remember that i was glued to my phone while he repeated what he wanted to say multiple times to get my attention? will he remember that i answered his questions or commented on his stories with vague "oh cool"'s? barely there?

i need to be more intentional. i know that kids are tiring. i would rather read facebook than play. playing is not fun to me. it's annoying. . and really boring. but if it's what luke wants to do, why not suck it up? put down the phone.. and be intentional with my time. show him that he's my world (like i feel that he is my world). show him how much i really, genuinely love him. how i really am interested in what he has to say.

so here's to unplugging once in a while. and by one in a while, keeping my phone handy but reserving a time when luke is asleep to catch up on the "gossip" that has become the everyday world.  he's only my little dude for so long. one day he'll be someone else's dude. i need to show him his first love; his mom.

PICTURE HEAVY. a recap of april so far.

still interning. i did the reskin of orkin.com (check it out! it's live)  started school. only part time (two classes). did this because i'm hoping for a permanent job this quarter as it will be my last! woot. woohoo? etc. kid is great. and smart. and funny. good grief, that kid is funny. allergies are kicking my really severe. to the point of my eye swelling nearly shut. puffs with vicks infused are kind of amazing. tried bubble tea. i liked one flavor but what i really love are the macaroons they sell next to it. my new obsession. my childhood bfflzzz, kimberly, has been living across the hall from me this whole time. how freaking weird is that? so we've hung out a few times.. it's like a decade hadn't passed us by.

i promised my little dude some mario eggs. 

since they don't have that kit in stores, i freehanded some.

he was happy. therefore, i was happy.

my love and i. he loves me. like. a lot.

his cute face on easter. where did my 6lb baby go?

the easter bunny really loved dude.

easter egg hunt in granny's backyard.

no, the collared shirt did not last long.

one of the three egg hunts we did.

rockin' his nashville shirt i got him.

after that egg hunt, we ventured off on a nature trail.

it was just us two. my phone was dead and the sun was setting.

i almost freaked out about getting lost.

then.

i remembered that he and i were the only ones

and we had a long talk.

it was perfect.

because i like taking pictures of my shoes.

almost as much as i love shoes.

cute new sandals!

originally i had off the same week as luke for spring break.

well, i took an internship so i had to work.

luckily i was able to take off fri-sun with him.

mi familia met up with me in atlanta.

we went to the coke museum and the zoo.

we had tickets to see the braves 

*and side note- holy crap we are good this year!!!*

but it rained and was super cold so we didn't go.

my frand, kimberly. 

middle school, represent!

haha. but really.. having her across the hall is pretty amazing.

what a small world.

it was also national siblings day a few days ago.

in this shot, we have a cute little rachael almost giving a nip slip

holding her dear little bro, caleb for the first time.

i really do miss that boy.

COME BACK, CALEB!

seriously.. if you've never tried a macaroon, DO IT.

SERIOUSLY. i LOVE him.

he's the best thing that's ever happened to this world.

my little batman and i went to the dogwood festival 

this past weekend and had a blast. we thought it had to 

do with the trees .. but it was more of a celebration of dogs.

EVEN. BETTER.

another update.

since watching the perks of being a wallflower, many people have said my little dude looks as though he will grow up to look just like the character charlie (actor logan lerman). after watching the movie way too many times to count  a few times,  i have to agree. in fact it sorta freaks me out.

the shape of the eyes, the hair cut, the lips, the eye brows, the nose. it's all really creepy. i do know one thing: girls are going to hate me because i'm going to be evil to them. i'm going to make some girls jump through hoops for this cute boy. 

anyway, third quarter is coming to a close at school. it seems like yesterday it was july and i was just starting the circus. it's been worth it and i've really learned so much. i've come such a long way.

i'm going to nashville on the megabus this week. i'm so freaking excited. i'll be seeing my lifelong love, butch walker. YES.

i came across this in a magazine today while getting an oil change. apparently i'm a vulgar parent. "butter bean"? i call luke "lukie dookie" and "buttcrack".. oh and my personal favorite, "farty mcfarterson".

this has to be one of my favorite pictures of all time. this was last year in pre-k. look how he just oozes that, "yeah, i'm hot" factor. i have no idea how we made such a beautiful child.

oh and look at that cute three-year-old before he knew how to give fake smiles. before he began to really have an idea of how cruel people can be. (not that he has a real clue right now.)

now look at how big! squishy face, love love love him.

sorry. having a moment. i won't be seeing his adorable little face until sunday. although i'm really excited about nashville, i'm conflicted because of him. it's a mom thing.

if you asked me..

if you asked me i'd tell you... that i am proud to report i  made it through "love" season (or v-day) without a tear or feeling sorry for myself. i wasn't lonely although i was alone. i wasn't sad for myself. i was content. and thankful.

if you asked me i'd tell you.. the sound of banjo has been making my heart and head clear and happy. mumford and son babel has finally made its way into my life and it's probably the greatest thing that's happened this year.

if you asked me i'd tell you.. my friend has been staying with her grandpa in the hospital for two weeks. since she's in atlanta, i've eaten lunch with her and sometimes when she tells me things her grandpa says, it has really triggered memories of my own. my goodness, i miss that man. it's always nice to know you're someone's favorite. he made sure i knew i was his.

if you asked me i'd tell you.. i had an interview for an internship in atlanta. i will find out more tomorrow. while i know i am capable of doing the code, i'm nervous i won't be good enough. the idea of being the only girl in the office scares me too.

if you asked me i'd tell you.. luke's school called me last week for the first time. they wanted me to pick him up because he had an accident. an accident. he hasn't had one of those since he was two. "good" thing, it's not that he's regressing. he was sick. poor boy..

if you asked me i'd tell you.. i think i'm ready to date again. i've been longing for someone i can hug.. and scratch their backs. true story.

 a girl at school saw that i wanted this book 

from a post i posted on facebook.

she gave it to me.. . WOW. how nice is that?

a picture of myself from valentine's day.

honestly,  i wasn't sad.

relaxing before class one day.

my date. she keeps me warm.

everyone was doing it. so i did too.

looks nothing like me.. but whatever.

i want that hair.