2 things happened.. a positive and a negative.

a few things of note happened today. i'll start with the least important.

i watched blue valentine tonight. why does this matter? i believe that on this blog a few months ago, i said something to the effect of "i will never watch blue valentine." why did i say that? let me jog your memory.

i went through this break up with big c.  remember him? i thought that was it for me. he was my one. then we broke up. i was slightly devastated. (slightly, ya know... :) )... we had plans to watch blue valentine. over and over we meant to watch it but it was never available at the red box when we went. so i associated that movie with him. it's a romantic love story. top that with memories of big c. i was boycotting the movie.  then something happened to quarantine me to my house. movies were in order. blue valentine made its way into my bag and that was that. a tiny milestone if you will. it is like the burning of my bra for women's rights or something.. but not really. i like wearing bras. 

how was the movie? dragging. not nearly as good as i had anticipated. oh well. it is probably for the best.

and now for the important thing that happened today.

remember on my last post how i said luke was spiking a fever and i was crapping my brains out? i'm all better. kinda. but guess what luke's fever decided to peak at at 6am this morning? 1 0 freakin 4. 104 DEGREES, PEOPLE! i called my icu nurse mom. frantically asking if she thought it warranted an er visit.. she calmed me down. motrin and tylenol later, his fever was at 100. still not good but definitely not 104. after a strep test and blood test for mono, his strep was negative and the mono was FREAKING POSITIVE. MONO, PEOPLE. MONO. 

holy crap. we are indoors. movies, pizza (at luke's request),  and lots of fluids. that's the regimen. good grief. my poor, poor baby. his fever never really breaks. it worries me. but under strict orders, we are monitoring the degreeage (yes, i made that up) on the hour. we are making sure it doesn't get to 105 because yeah, that warrants an er visit.

prayers for my kiddo. he's so upset he is missing his soccer game tomorrow!

oh. and here are two pictures to show that my mom and i love the crap out of little dude.

 because when you have mono, grannies feel bad 

and buy you that $20 mario costume to cheer you up.

and mama's night stand boasts everything needed for a good night's rest:

tissues, tylenol and motrin, a thermometer, 

a notepad to make sure i know which med i gave last,

a book to read (God Loves Single Moms.. haha), 

and some toys for entertainment until that temp comes down.

whew. wish me luck. and again, pray for my dude.

the happiness project.

i started a book yesterday. the happiness project. i always pick up reading as a hobby when i'm lonely and need a good "friend". i'm picky about the criteria the book has to meet. truthfully, it has to have a nice cover. i enjoy aesthetic appeal. it's the graphic/photographic/creative side of me. if the cover is nicely designed, it must not be about falling in love, being in love, or losing a loved one (death). it has to have feminist undertones, preferably bash men, and sometimes.. involves a single mom. why not? misery loves company. i enjoy getting lost in other people's problems rather than my own. taking a break to remove myself from my mind and go into someone else's world brings me comfort and peace. weird? sure.

one thing that has kind of been.. haunting me.. lately is the phrase, "fake it til you make it". this means (and scientifically proven) that if you want to be happy, make yourself act happy. this doesn't mean being super bubbly and cheerleader-esque. lord knows i don't even have the capacity to do that. so, the idea is that if you act happy, you will in turn be happy. so.. maybe? i'm skeptical but i'll give it a go soon.  the phrase has been introduced twice in one day. sometimes, i like to believe in signs.

also, i thought about activating my match.com account again. some people have told me that a rebound may be what it takes to get over it. it has worked for me in the past. i just don't know if i'm up to it this time.  i signed into the account tonight. i saw there were some updates, then i promptly signed out. i'm not ready.