something you feel strongly about.

yes, i'm a little late with this blog post. it was intended for yesterday however, i was at school from 9 am to almost 10pm. yea! finals! whew! i also have a new friend of the male species so i've been glued to my phone. yeehaw. -

anyway.. the blog challenge topic on the list today is something you feel strongly about.

there's a lot of things i feel strongly about to be honest. lets talk about something that i have strong feelings about that has recently been an "issue" in my life. marijuana. 

you can say what you want. "it isn't a drug." , "it's harmless." , "it is was less worse than drinking.", etc. and you know what? i agree that is not as bad as drinking. but you know what else? it still makes you experience something that isn't natural to your body. it changes the way you act. i also believe it can be a gateway to other drugs. and you can disagree. that's fine. but whatever you may be thinking or want to say to me is probably something i've already heard. i'm also never going to change my stance. 

you see, i grew up in household where my first memory was stuffing my barbie doll down a bong and pretending she was in one of those enclosed water slides. yes, i probably four. i'm not a believer in sheltering your children. i think that making a topic "taboo" only makes them want to experience whatever it is more. HOWEVER, i think it's a bit ridiculous that my parents smoked out in a bedroom with all windows and doors closed with my brother and i inside. 

imagine being in d.a.r.e. class and your officer showing you what various drugs look like and realizing "omg. my parents do that!" .. i threatened to tell my d.a.r.e. officer on my parents. true story. my mom quit that day. (2nd grade)

anyway, i will not be in a relationship that likes to smoke cigarrettes; much less pot. i hate it. it brings back the memories of living with a dad that was high 90% of the time. it was annoying, embarrassing, and aggravating. every time i see someone who is high, it throws me back to that time when i'd look at my dad with those glassy eyes and that smell...... good.lord. that smell. and i am immediately filled with resentment. why couldn't my parents just be normal? why couldn't my dad just be a functioning adult and be the typical dad that was there for his kids? why did he always have to be inhibited? did i ever really know his personality without drugs? probably not. 

in·hib·it·ed  

/inˈhibitid/

Adjective Unable to act in a relaxed and natural way because of self-consciousness or mental restraint. i'm not saying that all people that smoke pot are like my dad. however, given the choice.. i will not be with someone who partakes in such activities. this does not make me a prude; this is just something i feel strongly about. if you grew up in my house with my dad, you wouldn't judge me.

five ways to win your heart

i'm taking part in a 30-day writer's blog challenge. there's a list of topics to do for 30 days. i'm a little late but i couldn't resist. the reason i stopped this blog is because i couldn't post any positive thoughts. this way, it will force me to.

day one: five ways to win your heart

1. do the little things. surprise me with giving me your sweater when i'm cold (without asking), leave me a nice letter about how much you love or want me. simple stuff. it means a lot. 
2. spend time with my son. he can be relentless because lets face it, he hasn't had a male in his life. he loves it when there is one around. he will want you to play video games or go on scavenger hunts. it gets to be tiring but it really touches me when someone goes above and beyond. especially when my son feels special as well.
3. cook a meal for me. without me asking.
4. have meaningful conversations with me. and listen. when you listen and remember what i've said, it speaks volumes.
5. get to know my family. and be active in my family. and wear shoes and that aren't white! white shoes turn me off.

there.

hanging up.

it's been a fun ride since i started this blog in 2010.
however, i'm hanging up my blogger cap as of today.

thanks for reading my journey.
thanks for the memories.


i can be found here (http://thecreativecircuslife.blogspot.com/).
this blog will primarily focus on school-related topics and/or projects.


xo
rachael

GRANNY

i know a lot of you keep up with me on here.


despite the bull shit with my nonexistent love life as of late,
please take a moment to keep my granny in your thoughts and/or prayers.
family ALWAYS comes first.

thanks-

pause.

so.stressed.out.  burning the candle at both ends. holy.crap.

LGBT, MARTIAL BLISS..

i'm in the middle of completing a paper about LGBT rights and social movements in the U.S. i've been thinking about this topic often lately. i guess because my class i'm in is making me pick a topic of interest and this just seems to be fitting. (sarah, my bff is a lesbian) 

what if we weren't allowed to be married legally because we loved someone of the same sex? could you imagine? love is so hard to find and if one is able to achieve that lifelong dream of finding "the one", why strip the right away to publicly proclaim that affection by denying someone the right? ludicrous.  

i pride myself on exposing my kiddo to people of all sorts. my brother is engaged to a black girl. sarah and tommiah are openly "gay" around my son. he has seen me hug and kiss a guy. he doesn't question this; the differences. he just sees love. i wish we all had that about us. innocence is lost as we get older. just think about your teenage relationships; less complicated and easier because there wasn't anything to compare  to. likely, we didn't have scars yet from experiences. i wish i could wash off my scars sometimes.. but usually i wear them with pride. without them, i wouldn't be me.

ah, this has turned into this philosophical post. somewhat cliche. everything that has been said before. but.. it's just what i've been thinking about lately.

the other day i was in american eagle. they had a table of clearance items; coffee table books, etc. there was one about "fortune cookies for names". anyway, i sometimes believe in signs. (ie- all of the traffic lights are green in the morning when i'm running late..) well, my name.. or rather rachEL said "you will experience martial bliss". i'm not going to lie.. i kind of got excited??.. but it's the little things that keep us going.

so, where is my marital bliss? haha. 

looking back, it almost marks a year since BIG C and i began dating. i was so sure we'd be together forever. i imagined being engaged by now. but. an ex is an ex is an ex.. and he must remain in ex land.

i can see the finish line...

i calculated my expected graduation date from college; december 2012. can i get a HECK YES!!!?!?!?!? granted, this may turn into january 2013 but i'm ok with that. what's another two weeks? i've been going for 10 years.. that is a decade if you didn't know. wow. it gives me something to work toward and look forward to.  a few things have to happen first--

i have to apply and be accepted as an intern at a hospital for my internship hours to be qualified to take the certification test to become a child-life specialist. how is that for a run-on sentence?  unfortunately, there is only one children's hospital around me that only accepts interns twice a year. the other hospitals are two hours away or more. yikes. i really hope i can get on at the hospital nearby. otherwise, i'm not sure what i'd do about living if i had to work 40 hours with no pay in an expensive city!

.. then there is the actual working as an intern. how would i manage two jobs, school full time, be a mama, and intern 40 hours a week for four months with no pay.. and still survive? double yikes.

and of course, to make this all happen.. i will have to take two classes every six weeks (and pass) to graduate on time.

... but you know what?? i'm determined! it will happen. i will make sure of it. and as far as the no pay and being a mom.. i guess i'll figure it out when it happens!

WOO TO THE HOO FOR BEING A COLLEGE GRAD.