.

wednesday is here and i am still digging through
my coat pockets for
the words i scrawled on a paper towel,
the letters that spelled Change and Beginning.
i suppose that
is where all of us are hovering.

but my fingers
can't reach in that far. i've been letting them
   glide
 over the tops of freshly lined paper
 with the blue ink still burning
but i cannot penetrate my own audience.

         sometimes i feel lost
      in the language of mass cultures
      and in the surrounding heart beat of
      people i've never met.
i only want to touch something
inside your chest or on the small of the back,
and carve there
 some kind of legitimacy.
i want you to pretend that
the small things matter when i enlarge them like this.

i still don't have the words to
describe being infinite, or the discipline
to pick out individual instruments
from a song. from the very first note
they crash together like bodies dancing
  to form a single period
   at the end of a life-long sentence.
the songs are all the same
with a beginning and an end,
except for the hushed secrets
            that live in the quiet parts.

            the silence between falling down
               and getting back up again.

weddings! braves! etc.

Things of late: 

We went to a Braves game and Weezer played an after show. WOO HOO! My high school self was doing cartwheels. They were so good. Luke and I danced together and met up with friends for the show portion. It was on a school night so he felt extra "cool". 

Samantha got married:

Luke  was the ring bearer and I did the music. I have the blisters on my feet to prove that I had a great time. So . much. dancing.

Tomorrow I start a new job and of course I'm overwhelmed, nervous, and excited. I'll miss my co-workers at Think but I know that I'm making the right choice. I am a little concerned about working in Buckhead (traffic!!) but there's always some give and take. More money, for the win.

After being put on a new medication recently, I've lost 16 pounds in a month.. woo!

I'll write something better later. I've been so busy with freelance projects. I can't complain.