resolution.

i decided against the new years dude. i'm just not built for that. . and i'm actually ok! 

my boy woke up sick again this morning. rather than going to the doctor, we just called. his md basically said that little dude should just claim the name of "bubble boy". yay for windy, cold days! poor asthmatic lungs. so alas, we are home again on the day that school is back in.

in other news, i decided to keep it simple with the resolutions this year.

be intentional. i like to think i'm a fun mom. i discipline when i need to. he isn't exposed to "drama" or smoking, drinking, etc. he is in fact, a bubble boy. but this year, i want to put down the phone. stop reading the facebook messages, stalking people's pictures and posts, reading blogs, etc.. and just.. listen to my kid. hang out with undivided attention. being intentional. i'm never going to get back these years so i'd rather embrace them rather than glued to my little device that shows no love in return. .. so, those texts i don't receive can wait! i've got a kid to play with.

spend more time on myself.  stop letting myself "go". i've already cut my hair off, re-pierced by ears, painted my nails, and waxed my eye brows. i've even added a necklace in the mix since the start of the new year. i'm going to try to keep this up. not to impress others.. but to feel better about myself. now, if i could get rid of the eye infection i have from forgetting to take off my makeup the other night.

get a lap top.. and finish SCHOOL. point blank.

brief update! and happy birthday to me

today is my birthday... 28.. wow.
my mom served me breakfast in bed; love that woman.
my best friend stopped by.
countless facebook posts and text messages wishing happy birthday.
i really am loved.


christmas was good, as i hope yours was as well.
lukester loved everything he received.
the joy in a 4 year old's eyes makes it all worth it.
unfortunately, he was diagnosed with a bad case of asthma
resulting in another hospitalization on tuesday..
he was worried santa wouldn't find him in the hospital.
such a trooper.
luckily he was able to discharge early so we spent christmas at home!
...and santa may have thrown in some extra "just because" no child
should have to be hospitalized.. especially the week of christmas.


xo

luke-isms

we bought our christmas tree at lowe's a week ago. while pulling up to the store, luke says "lowes. let's build something together".  he seriously makes me laugh.

another luke-ism: after lying on his mat for nap time, his teacher noticed he has his hands clasped together as though he was praying. ms. meka says, "luke, what are you doing?".. luke replies, "just praying to santa my list". innocence, i love it.

and one more. we have bob, our elf on the shelf. everyone knows you can't touch your elf because his magical powers will disappear. luke takes this very seriously. he placed his wii game near bob on the table today. he was so worried that his game had touched bob. he hands the wii game to me and says, "please check and make sure there isn't any magic on it. i can't take bob's magic away!"

  

it's the little things. life gets hectic and tough and everything else. sometimes we overlook the simple stuff in between.

bullet form.

random. in bullet form.

• i think a lot about big c. more than i'd like to admit. we only dated three months, c'mon. what the heck? i guess i just really thought he was IT for me. alas, he didn't feel the same. i sometimes visit his photography site. i was his biggest fan. he has serious talent behind a lens. i was thinking why i still think so much about him. maybe it is the gain dish soap i've been using every night. it smells just like him. insanely good. he smelled the best. i could have eaten it up. i don't know.. luke still talks about him too. we laugh it off. i do it for him. the whole situation is so unfortunate. i wish we had fought a lot and were horrible for each other. .. but we weren't. i hope i find something good like him again. i really. do.  i wonder if he still thinks of us? or if he has another lady? either way, i hope he gets the best in life.
• 70 hours. that's how much i've been working every week. my feet are starting to feel it. oh- and the other day i was helping the cashiers on the register. a customer asked if i had baby number 2 on the way.  .. thank you. now let me go purge.
• luke saw santa yesterday. he started getting cold feet the closer we got. he was so nervous he was blinking back tears in his photo (a hilarious picture i died laughing at). he did tell him his list he had memorized. i was so proud.
• we put up our christmas tree today. i guess christmas is really coming soon! i'm so excited but so exhausted. good grief. oh and this year i've decided to nix the icicle lights outside. we're going with old school super big bulbs. i can't wait! .. and my mantle design is my favorite design to date!
• i've been thinking a lot about the men in our lives. obviously luke doesn't really have a grandpa. i didn't think it affected me much until i started talking about it the other night with my mom. i was in tears while talking about how much of a good grandpa my dad would have been. i know it's his choice the way things have turned out.. but goodness. the relationships luke is missing that he doesn't even know about. i'm so sad.
• something about christmas and holidays make me more aware of families. looking around the store the other day with rings on couple's fingers and dads that were involved and helping.. it just made me so sad. funny how life turns out, huh. 
• my hair is thinning and receding. my thyroid is to blame. really? i'm only 28 (in a few weeks). my grandpa passed away with a full head of hair! .. blah.

....

t-day.

i hope you all had a lovely thanksgiving. i did spend the day with my family and we had a great time. something about lots of food and dessert shared with the feeling of the impending holidays really sets the mood for a great time. little dude had a great time too. he told me all about the mayflower ride with the pilgrims and how they took the land from the native americans. it is so much fun to compare the years and how his concept of the meaning is beginning to mold itself. the only time he really showed a temper is when he realized mcdonalds was closed later in the day.. whew. he just couldn't understand why!

i ended up worked 1130pm to noon on black friday at target. it was interesting trying to decide when to sleep and where or even.. how. i think i totaled a two hour nap beforehand. something about the screaming public always ceases to amaze me. is an xbox 360-kinect bundle really that important? but alas, people were losing their sh!t over it. 

little dude had to spend the night with his dad's mom. he learned fun things like what a sleeping bag is. he thought it was the coolest. he also had his cousin to stay with him. i hear they had a blast! (so thank you, nanny for keeping him!)  of course, i did end up in a verbal match with luke's uncle. HI THERE! (he let it be known he reads this blog) he has set a fire in me with his malicious words to date again. to do something for myself. while i'm very happy with my life, maybe i should spend some time on myself every once in a while. so i started today; i shaved my legs. hahaha. but really, it's true. here's to showing those who hate me that i REALLY AM over luke's DAD.

thankful.

i'm sick right now with an upper respiratory infection. rather than feeling awful and swallowing myself in the illness, i feel compelled to write the obligatory "i am thankful for.." post.  i can complain a lot but in the end, i do have a good life filled with good laughs, great people with warm hearts and witty attitudes, and a little 3 feet tall man by my side who gives me kisses on my eyelids every morning. i could focus on the things lacking but i'm typically content with what i have.

my mom and i had the tumultuous teen years that i'm sure most girls shared with their mothers. why is this woman acting like she knows everything? she can't possibly understand what i'm feeling or going through. yes, because mothers have never been there before.  with the demise of my parent's relationship and the impending birth of my child all in one year, my mother and i found ourselves with no one but each other to lean on. sure, we had well-meaning family and friends but no one really "understood" the situation but her and i.  looking back on 2007, i can say i am thankful for that time for bringing us to the relationship we share today. when people say situations can tear you apart or bring you closer, i'm so thankful it brought us to this level of closeness i never thought i could share with her. when she or i works extra and miss the opportunity to have a day off together, i feel it. i feel like i'm missing my "venting" partner. i'm missing the other half that gets me. i mean, i do share some of her dna after all. i know that there are times when we get on each other's nerves but we always  recover. we never let it linger. i'm so thankful she can still talk to me after the horrible things i have said in those teen years. she is seriously my hero.. and i know it sounds "corny" but i really, truly mean that. what an amazing woman.. and GRANNY to my little dude! she loves him as much as i do and would do anything for him.  i'm so thankful he has that sort of grandma that i have as well.

my family should be on my thankful list as a whole. each of them has done something for me without hesitating. my uncle gary gets out of bed at 7am to jump off my car due to a dead battery, my aunt lori has taken my son to school at 7:45am because i couldn't, my uncle john who has bailed me out SO.MANY.TIMES, my granny who has watched luke even though she has limited mobility.. etc. how blessed am i??? but lets talk about someone who REALLY goes unnoticed. samantha. she's my cousin. she's kind of amazing. that girl will answer my text back that i forgot to send allll day at 11pm to say "yes" that she can pick my child up from school. there have been times she has gotten up at 7am to lay with my child while i was at work. she does ...a....lot... for child and i. actually, luke begs to see samantha on my days off. he'd rather be at her house with her and her mario skillzzz than me when i'm at home. i would take offense to this but i don't. i'm so thankful there is someone out there he cares that much about! thank you, sam. seriously. with all of my heart.

my two jobs. the most understanding people at either job. many people don't even have one job in this economy. somehow, i've lucked up with two. the people at the daycare are the sweetest/craziest bunch of

women i have ever met. i have only worked there a short time and have called out a lot due to hospitalizations and illnesses. while i seriously shouldn't have a job there still, i do because they care. for some reason, they understand. they help me. they listen. i can't thank God enough for bringing this job into my life. i love my three-year-olds. although i have lost my voice for the first time while teaching them, i love each of those crazy kids like they are my own. my other job i've been with for 6 years, i love it. i enjoy the people i work with now. those crazy girls at the front end have made me laugh when i've

been too exhausted to smile. i know i could trust them if i needed them. that is hard to say these days.

more soon.

discipline.

a little part of me gets aggravated when others discipline my child.
especially when they don't understand how he works...

not saying the kid doesn't deserve discipline;
i'd just like to teach people how to talk to him.

health scare number 584 of the year.

hello there, loyal readers. i apologize once again for my absence.

i have an excuse. i promise. 

my kiddo was feeling a little under the weather two weeks ago but i promised him a trip to the national fair. before we left, he threw up. weird, i thought. he never vomits. so i decided to stop in at a medstop to let the doctor take a gander. 

yikes.

there, his pulse ox was 85! yes, 85 at four years old. major concern. so after a chest xray confirming what we thought, to the ER we went. his lungs presented a dark spot.. maybe signifying pneumonia so we wanted answers. fast.

at the ER, he continued having problems moving air in his lungs. he had 2 blood gases drawn (super painful in the artery).. they confirmed a major issue with the gas exchange in his lungs. basically, his oxygenated blood was mixing with his deoxygenated blood. no bueno.  he was placed on 50% oxygen but this didn't increase his pulse ox. after a while, he was placed on 100% o2 and an ambulance ride later, arrived at the local children's hospital. there we spent two nights. grueling nights. you.can.not.sleep. in the hospital. luckily, i have amazing family to visit often and my mother who stayed with us those nights. 

in the end, it was confirmed to be mycoplasmal pneumonia .. and perhaps something else fueling the fire. but definitely mycoplasmal pneumonia. little guy was so puny, it was sad. 

we have since been discharged. as with most pneumonia, it will be a long road to recover 100%. breathing treatments and antibiotics for 14 days as well as regular checks with a pulse oximeter. he seems better. his personality is back. he has even started school again. we are just on high alert. no soccer (bummer!). no running. no outdoors fun. 

i could whine about my house and car being a complete wreck because we haven't had time to unpack or clean. i could cry because i had already used my time up for the last hospitalization so my next two paychecks will be nothing. and i guess by even mentioning it, i am. however, i am a firm believer that God does not give you more than he thinks you can handle. so i'm going to truck along in this messy environment, broke as a joke.. because you know what? the sacrifices are fine as long as my boy is with me. 

and also. thank you so much  to everyone for the prayers, calls, texts, emails, support in general. it was so humbling the people who reached out.  we really felt all of you prayers!

sickness, illness, and death.

yep. i have bronchitis. i can feel in the bases of my lung lobes.
my mom looks like she has thrush except it's actually strept throat.
did i mention we live together?
however, hallelujah. luke is well (fingers crossed, knock on wood, etc).

a guy i used to occasionally hang out with passed away.
his body was found in a cemetery this morning.
the cause of death is yet to be released.
but i heard it may have been a gun shot wound to the head.
so unfortunate.
i feel so sorry for his sister and family.

on a very different note.
there is a 13 year old girl i know who changed my life.
she had a 6 hour invasive surgery two days ago.
please pray that her spiking temperature isn't signs of pneumonia.


xo

AHH. BREATHE.

i'm falling behind on this here ole blog. actually, i'm falling behind on life in general.

i have many things to say.. i just do not have the time at the moment.

here are some highlights .. i'll elaborate later----

1. it is midnight. i got home from job numero dos at 11pm. being the procrastinator i am, i finished two papers before the midnight mark. because naturally, they were due at midnight.
2. i'm constantly exhausted.  i  am having  a hard time keeping my eyes open during the day.
3. after contemplating red bull, 5 hour energy, i'm still at a loss. i find myself drinking about 5 cokes a day.. and all of the brown mess is starting to make me feel like a slug.
4. most importantly, i forgot to mention that little dude's fever wouldn't go away after six days so.. he was hospitalized at a nearby children's hospital. this warranted 6 days absent from school. no worries, all i well now.
5. we gave away one of the puppies so far.
6. i got to speak with a child life specialist after said hospital stay. it was enlightening.. and one step closer to being in the profession i want to be in.
7. my mom has strep. i have.. something. bronchitis? i don't know. 
8. kid is good.
9. i miss my grandpa and mention him in my school papers all of the time.
10. i love my uncle john and everything he does for my little fam.
11. i need new shoes for dude. he outgrew his sandals.. in 3 months. major outgrew.
12. we started to take on learning our letters and the sounds they make.
13. i'm itching for new art projects. i've been feeling so creative.
14. one of my dearest friends, abby wilson, had invasive surgery today to extract some tumors from her lungs. i've been in prayer all day. won't you do the same? 

.... ummmmm

yes . more soon.

advice to newly single mamas.

what i have learned in the past 4 years:

- make sure you have wipes in your car and in your purse. .. you just never know. even past the age of diapers, there will be messes and you’re going to kick yourself if you don’t have them.

- use the first fews years to do what you want. do what YOU want to accomplished. this will change when it is your child’s turn to have a life. (ie- soccer games, school commitments, etc.) get everything out of your way before the age of 4. or be like me: online classes. they are fabulous.

- accept support and help! without my mom, aunts, cousin, and select few friends.. i don’t know what i’d do. it really does take a village to raise a child.. especially if you’re a single mom.

- take lots of self portraits with your child! if you don’t, you’ll never have pictures of yourself with your child. don’t think it’s silly; you just don’t have anyone to take them for you! i made it a tradition to take one a week when he was small. now we do them on major outings or special occasions.. like the first day of school.

- if the daddy isn’t involved, don’t sugar-coat it. they will ask. you just have to tell them the truth. this also goes without saying.. never badmouth your ex in front of your child. never.

- find a special place for just the two of you. “your space”. my son and i go to atlanta. it is 1.5 hours away. it is our place to go. only us. he thinks it is so special.

- when you do start dating, do.not. let your child meet every man you date. only the special ones. and only after you are truly certain they will be around for awhile. luke has met one man in 4 years.

- know that if and when you break up with someone, your child is breaking up with them as well. they will hurt right along with you.

- get a dependable car. seriously. you do not want to get stranded due to car problems. chances are, you don’t know how to fix the problem and without a manly man, the cost will be pricey. so bite the bullet. get something that will work and last.

  what about you other people out there? what advice do you have to share?

the greatest man i ever knew.

my grandpa was a special man. he was the only man i have known to actually be a man. he defended me against my own father before. he picked me up from school when i was young. we took walks together. we went to church, just he and i. he and i were members of the same church; the only two in our family. we had a special bond. i mean, i love all of my family.. but that man had a very special place in my heart. he was so proud of me for no reason. he would stand at the front door of the sanctuary of church with me and introduce me to the church body. he loved me. 

he knew i was strong before i knew i had it in me. he was a conservative southern baptist but do you know what he said when i told him i was pregnant out of wedlock? "it's going to be a boy!"  he was happy for me. i think he was happy to have his first great grandchild as well. 

i always said that he would be the man to give me away at my wedding. unfortunately, that day will never come as he passed away three years ago this past september 12th.  i remember him saying during some of his last words, "luke skywalker!".. and his eyes lit up as he was struggling to sustain consciousness. i love that man. 

today is his birthday. i wish so badly luke could have really known him. but in our own way, we make sure we speak to him every night. we say "God bless you, grandpa in heaven. Did you just burp?" ...and i know he is up  there wishing he could scrape his stubble across my face with his toothless grin and bear hug engulfing me. 

happy birthday, grandpa. i miss you and love you so much.

because luke insisted we have a birthday cake for him:

sorry for the picture quality; bad lighting in the kitchen 

and my phone doesn't take very good pictures!

ive gotta feeeevaaa!

the boy's fever is still there. spiking every few hours when the motrin or tylenol is wearing off. i'm getting cabin fever though i did go do some damage at the mall yesterday. however, when you spend a third of what the receipt says you saved.. well, that's accomplishment!  

i picked up some cupcakes at a new place in own. delicious! i figured the sweetness and color would lure luke in to eating some (kid loves cupcakes). no such luck. i guess his throat really does hurt that bad. boo. 

here is a little insight in the single mom (and i'm sure married moms experience this too) world: 

my child is going to be out of school for some days. how many that actually totals is unknown right now. his actual school excuse from the doctor says "luke t. was seen in our office on 9-16-11. may return to school on ___ blank". we just don't know. so disheartening. since today is sunday, i am faced with the uncertainty of the week ahead. no more putting it off. who is going to keep my child for me while i work? luckily, my amazing mom is off wednesday and thursday.. but what about monday, tuesday, and friday? i don't get paid for sick days at my new job. what am i going to do? 

the downside to being a single mom. no one to barter or compromise with. it is all on me. it is a big responsibility to ask someone to watch my child with mono. what to do. what to do.

...

doesn't fall make you want a significant other?

2 things happened.. a positive and a negative.

a few things of note happened today. i'll start with the least important.

i watched blue valentine tonight. why does this matter? i believe that on this blog a few months ago, i said something to the effect of "i will never watch blue valentine." why did i say that? let me jog your memory.

i went through this break up with big c.  remember him? i thought that was it for me. he was my one. then we broke up. i was slightly devastated. (slightly, ya know... :) )... we had plans to watch blue valentine. over and over we meant to watch it but it was never available at the red box when we went. so i associated that movie with him. it's a romantic love story. top that with memories of big c. i was boycotting the movie.  then something happened to quarantine me to my house. movies were in order. blue valentine made its way into my bag and that was that. a tiny milestone if you will. it is like the burning of my bra for women's rights or something.. but not really. i like wearing bras. 

how was the movie? dragging. not nearly as good as i had anticipated. oh well. it is probably for the best.

and now for the important thing that happened today.

remember on my last post how i said luke was spiking a fever and i was crapping my brains out? i'm all better. kinda. but guess what luke's fever decided to peak at at 6am this morning? 1 0 freakin 4. 104 DEGREES, PEOPLE! i called my icu nurse mom. frantically asking if she thought it warranted an er visit.. she calmed me down. motrin and tylenol later, his fever was at 100. still not good but definitely not 104. after a strep test and blood test for mono, his strep was negative and the mono was FREAKING POSITIVE. MONO, PEOPLE. MONO. 

holy crap. we are indoors. movies, pizza (at luke's request),  and lots of fluids. that's the regimen. good grief. my poor, poor baby. his fever never really breaks. it worries me. but under strict orders, we are monitoring the degreeage (yes, i made that up) on the hour. we are making sure it doesn't get to 105 because yeah, that warrants an er visit.

prayers for my kiddo. he's so upset he is missing his soccer game tomorrow!

oh. and here are two pictures to show that my mom and i love the crap out of little dude.

 because when you have mono, grannies feel bad 

and buy you that $20 mario costume to cheer you up.

and mama's night stand boasts everything needed for a good night's rest:

tissues, tylenol and motrin, a thermometer, 

a notepad to make sure i know which med i gave last,

a book to read (God Loves Single Moms.. haha), 

and some toys for entertainment until that temp comes down.

whew. wish me luck. and again, pray for my dude.

contagion.. or something.

so, i woke up roughly around 4am to the stomach ache from hell. i ran to the bathroom where the beast started its twenty-four hour wrecking on my body. thank you, stomach virus!

the trips to the bathroom were frequent.. i'd say less that ten minutes apart. i tried sleeping through the urge to go but that idea was a major fail. calling in sick was a must.

thankfully, i have an amazing family member (sam!) who picked the kid up from my house to take him to school. i, then had my day cut out for me. the toilet and i became bffs. i tried sleeping in between sudden trips to the loo but to no avail. finally around 2pm, my alarm went off to let me know it was time to get the kid from school..

except i couldn't get off of the toilet. i was thirty freakin minutes late picking up my child. i felt like the worst mama in history. to add that proverbial icing, the coordinator of the school saw me entering the parking lot to "just let me know" that a cop would get me for speeding in his parking lot. thank you, kind sir. did i not just mention i'm late picking up my son because i'm crapping my brains out? oh, here comes to vomiting. yes, THANK YOU! just what i need. now both ends hate me. did i fail to mention that my ass really needs desitin to walk at this point? but i'll make sure to keep my speed at a minimum.

so, i finally grab my boy.. or rather, they bring him to me for fear of infecting the whole class. luke lets me know that one- his friend hit him twice (with tears in his eyes), and two- he feels sick as well. oh goodie gumdrops.

he was actually ok when we got home. we sat in the recliner watching tv in between my visits to the bathroom. around 8pm, he starts crying for no apparent reason. at this point, i've gone ONE HOUR without a bathroom trip.. and to me, this means i've ended my friendship. except no, no. that was a cruel joke. my friend returns.

so, back to my flailing child who has forgotten to use his words. i check his head- oh he's burning up! yeehaw. he's so limp at this point.. all he wants to do is lay his head down and cry some more. i finally get his motrin in and he's out in 10 minutes....

did i mention my mom has to spend the night with my grandma so it is going to be an extra fun doing this alone... and on the toilet??


lets see what tonight holds.. (prayers needed)...

to the bathroom i go!


(ps. i tagged this post under death. and that is pretty much what it feels like)

soccer mom!

so little dude started soccer. woop woop. the first practice, it was blatantly obvious he is raised by a female with no athletic ability. yesterday, he did awesome! he even scored a goal!! woo to the hoo!

worrying.

when i was pregnant, i remember praying to hit the milestones without a hitch. ya know, the first ultrasound praying there would be a heartbeat. the 20 week ultrasound where you still hoped there would be a heartbeat as well as a healthy baby. 28 weeks.. knowing there was a chance of being viable. 34 weeks knowing your child has a strong chance. 37 weeks.. being full term and getting so excited. praying for 10 fingers and 10 toes as well as good apgar results.

what they fail to mention in the pregnancy books is that the worry doesn't stop at birth. it only multiplies from there. i remember luke having health problems; constant projectile vomit at every meal. countless doctor's appointments. then the diabetic test. the blood draws. the cystic fibrosis test. on pins and needles for results. i remember when we realized he had an eye that was misshapen; the doctor telling us that at least it was reacting to light but only time would tell if it was cosmetic or not. (note- he still has this misshapen eye.. an ophthalmologist should be consulted although kiddo can see)

then he headed to school a few weeks ago. i find myself questioning if he is where he should be mentally. i mean, he's smart. he can beat up to world 5 on mario brothers.. but he can't follow direction. is it affiliated with his eye? is it some form of dyslexia? what is it?

the problem is.. he is SO painfully shy. if he isn't understanding something, he will be the last to tell the teacher. he came home with homework a few days ago; just a test to see where he lies with his IQ. one of the questions said "tell your child to put a book in the middle of the table" i did. he didn't understand where the middle was. then it said "put a book between the couch cushions" .. he sorta understood this. lastly, "tell your child to put the book under a table." he didn't understand that at all. things like "end" or "beginning" have no meaning to him. you can point in an object's direction and he won't understand. in soccer, he didn't understand blocking the ball from going into the net although the other children seemed to get it. maybe i'm being overly worried. i'm' not sure. i just know that i'm concerned.

i've always been the type that would never use ADD/ADHD medication unless it was truly truly truly needed. as in.. a brain test or something measurable. so, i'm not going there. but..


ideas? thoughts?

super busy single mom.

i started a new job today.. as a teacher with my own classroom.. to three-year-olds. what a daunting task! however, it will provide the experience i need in order to apply for my internship for my degree which is always exciting. i'm making good on my five year plan this way! it also nice to be able to contribute to lives of children and help shape who they become. (ask me how i feel in a few weeks!) but honestly, i'm excited. the only thing my heart is really missing out on is dropping luke off at his school and picking him up. it was always so super rewarding to do those things. i'm still receiving the daily emails from his school letting me know what he's up to but i can't help but yearn for my child when i'm around 15 others that aren't him. lets just say... i covered him in hugs and kisses when i got home!!

i'm still going to work in retail to keep my insurance... along with going to school full time. (what am i thinking??) you do what you have to do. such is life as a mom. and especially a single mom. 

luke should be starting soccer practice within the next couple of weeks! opening day is september 10th. we will be so super busy. i can't wait! i think.  i will be his biggest fan.

playing catch up.

warning: huge picture post.

thursday, august 11th, i met up with a good friend from a decade ago (holy crap, i'm old) and we took a trip to atlanta. we went to see our favorite band, death cab for cutie. if you have never heard of them, shame on you. they are amazing. anyway, we entertained ourselves with some robot dancing, fist pumping, and of course.. the fabulous voice of ben gibbard!

note- i did not drink and drive.

i was just holding the drink while kim snapped the photo of the robot!

a little fist pumping action. before this, we had been virgin fist-pumpers.

kimster and i.

our feet. mine are on the right. i scored these hideous things for $5

and i love everything about them. picture worthy, for sure.

we ate at my favorite late night spot in atlanta, fellini's pizza.

if you haven't ever eaten there, GO!

my mom bought an extra wii controller so two people can play. sounds perfect, right?

unfortunately i'm super competitive and i won't allow my son to win.

bad mom.

on saturday, i was itching to do something creative. i never get this feeling anymore.

usually i'd rather just sleep.

 but this table was driving me insane with the "catch all" it had become.

so i scoured the house and found a few things.

did the reno on the free.

granted, this is NOT  my style. but it is my mom's house.

and her things. so ..

i decided to do a little "country shabby chic" thing she loves.

the end product. i think it turned out decent! 

the dried flowers in the pitcher are from my grandpa's funeral.

some people may think that is weird on the table..

but if you are allergic as i am to anything that grows, you'll love dried flowers.

before heading to the store, luke wanted a little photo time.

notice his hair? spur of the moment mallory trip.

 he loves it; as do i!

seriously, he should model.

i can't believe i was part of making such a gorgeous kid.

so. same day i was feeling creative? i should have stopped at the table setting.

i decided to cook. um. i can't boil water properly.

but i tried my and at eggplant parm. it WOULD HAVE been good

but the eggplant didn't cook long enough so there was no biting in to that rubber.

oh well, the dogs liked it.

and lastly. around here we are gearing up to play our first sport-- soccer!

someone even wore their cleats to sunday dinner today.

there ya have it!

i have much more to share about some major changes.

but i'm going to wait until tomorrow.

xo

5 years.

sorry. i briefly stepped away for a moment. i haven't been lazy though; actually, the opposite. a major picture post coming later tonight.

in the meantime, a  where do i want to be in five years post.

on this day in five years, i will be 32. (whoa..) little dude will be 9. (double whoa..)  i hope to be a child-life specialist, certified with bachelors degree in hand. living wherever that career takes me. i hope to be self-sufficient and living (maybe owning) my own place. i want to be considering a second child, whether that be via sperm bank or husband. i hope to be available to my son by taking him to soccer, baseball, or whatever practice and helping him with his homework. i hope to be living by the dave ramsey plan (envelope system) and in turn, be debt-free. i want to be able to claim a "dish" as my signature dish. which means... i want to know how to cook. daily. and save money doing so. i want to be  the "cool mom" but also be a mom. not just a friend. i hope to continue being best friends with my mom and close with my family. in five years, i hope to be toned by doing a regular exercise routine (maybe take up running instead of making excuses?).  i hope to have a church family and participate actively in that environment. i want to be healthy.

i have a lot i need to accomplish. i can.not.wait.