DEAR LITTLE BOY,

dear beautiful little boy,

i'm not sure why God entrusted me with you but i'm so thankful he did. everyday i wake up and feel blessed to have your little fingers or toes touching my skin. your bright blue eyes and the longest eye lashes looking over at me ready to start a new day. what did i do to deserve something as precious as you? you look up to me like i have all of the answers to life's questions and while this is a daunting feeling, i still look at you in amazement that you are in my care. 

one day you are going to see that i'm only human like most everyone else. one day i'm not going to be the person who never lies to you and can answer every question or can kiss a boo boo make it feel immediately better. one day you're going to realize the childlike innocence has passed and this world isn't the greatest place. that santa doesn't exist. 

but i hope you know that no matter what, you are/and will always be my first priority. i hope that one day you look back and think of me as a strong woman rather than a lonely single mom. i hope i am able to provide both roles the best i know how.  i know you are only on loan from God and one day you'll have your own family; but for now, i'm so grateful to be the woman in your life. i'm so thankful you call us a "team". or that silly grin you get on your face when you're about to pounce on me.

you have taught me so much about myself and for that i can never thank you enough. you are my rock. you are my priority. i would do anything in my capacity to bring a smile to your face. i have learned the difference between dc comics and marvel. i will take you to the opening day of any super hero movie. i think it is incredible that you think that i'm your super hero.

thank you for trusting me. thank you for putting dateline on when i get home and i'm sad. that you for doing things you shouldn't ever have to do (ie- bring me a box of tissues when i cry). thank you for reassurance that we can still be a team of two when someone leaves our lives. thank you for innocent look on life and how you can't wait to get old so you can see grandpa in heaven again. oh, if life were so easy. 

everyone that knows me knows that i love you to the moon and back. i sure hope you know this as well. thank you for this wonderful year of being 3 and i can't wait to share number 4. 

i love you always sweet boy.

mama.