god.

i've been praying each night for a good thing to come. something to take my mind off of the past. to accept the things i can not change (that is the prayer for twelve step meetings, right?). i asked for strength. a sign, even. i've needed someone to provide a backbone when i haven't been able to stand straight lately.

luke and i pray every night. ever since having him, prayer has been something we do. i can't raise a child without a village.. and especially someone to watch over him when i can't. when i became pregnant, i really looked to God to help me all of the stressors i faced. i prayed for a healthy child. i prayed for the strength to be a single mom.

don't worry, i have failed many times. i will continue to fail because after all, i am human. i use profanity in stressful situations. i have a LOT to work on. i judge people... although i have to admit, this is something i have really focused on and feel i've come a long way.

anyway, the point is.  i always ask for things i want... and sometimes things i need. not always do i act christian-like, but i am. i struggle. i feel sorry for myself when i know others have it harder. i yell at my child rather than keep my composure sometimes. but i do thank God everyday for the things i DO have/need.

a healthy, smart little boy who loves me more than anything.

a mom and family who support and help me.

who love each other through thick and thin.

a job.. in this economy.

a reliable car to get me places.

a house to live in. food.

MY health.

sometimes, it doesn't feel like but he does listen to my prayers. and i.am.thankful.