inspiration?

i've always felt awkward when i hear people say things like "i get so inspired doing.. such n such.." what do you mean, inspired? i guess i'm too much of a realist to be "inspired". i think of myself as a pretty creative person. more so in my day than now, but i definitely like aesthetic appeal. i hate artsy fartsy people though. the ones that find beauty in everything? yeah. the ones that hug trees. i find them so naive. but as i've said time and time again, i'm so much of a cynic i believe i'm missing out on the simple things.

this being said, i had decided to take my day off and drop the kid off at his daddy's and explore atlanta. something happens every time i come into the city with all of buildings touching the sky. i love it. it is almost like falling in love. i took it for granted when i lived there. i hated it. looking back, i'm not sure that i hated the city.. i just hated being away from the person i thought i loved. i should have really given it a chance.


i went through the rich neighborhoods, the "artistic" neighborhoods (the craftsmen style houses i HAVE to own one day), the traffic.. i loved it all. i get this giddy feeling inside. i almost can't contain it. while i was there, i had so many thoughts running through my head about how to decorate this room of mine. i got so excited, i dropped $80 at the container store.. oh i wish i had an atlanta-sized budget! ha. everything is so much more there.

today, luke had a doctor's appointment today in macon. i never get a monday off so i decided to make the most of our trip. we drove downtown and i decided rather than eating at mcdonalds, we would find a hole in the wall to eat at. although it isn't a hole in the wall, we went to the joshua cup. it has that old feel. the high ceilings, the art everywhere, the rickety hardwood floors, etc. it was fun. he enjoyed and the food was amazing.

so. this long winded post is to say: i definitely think atlanta will be home one day. i think it inspires me.

i'm falling apart.

a lot has happened since that last post. i've been having "issues" with my bowels. (haha) so i went to the dr. i'm on a medication for that now.. i also had bloodwork done because i just had a feeling that something wasn't right with my body. a week and a half later, i got a phone call saying i had hypothyroidism (the kind that makes you fat). yay me! next course of action would be the obligatory synthroid dosing and periodic blood work to make sure my thyroid hormone is stable. right now, i'm on a starter dose of 50mcg. i was feeling pretty good for a few days. i woke up at 10am refreshed. now, my body is used to this dose and i'm beyond exhausted.. not to mention it is drying out my eyes, mouth, nostrils, and even my skin! it caused two different times of pink eye.. it is always something i suppose.

fall is the in the air (or at least in the stores) the temperature still hasn't gotten low enough to enjoy the outdoors yet. dang this 90+ degree weather! luke has already gotten his batman costume for halloween. i think the fact that it is my favorite holiday has rubbed off on him. he just can't wait! i'm so thankful for that kiddo.

more as it comes..

...I may actually start dating!

i have a 'meeting'. with someone of the opposite sex. this is what i have been praying for for a while now. ' God, just please send me someone worth the while.' enter boy. i'm so excited i may throw up. at the same time, i am so terrified i may throw up. i'm pretty sure vomit will be involved. sexy, huh. the part of me that is a cynic and pessimist really has some walls up. hopefully i will be able to find the balance between being guarded and pushing people away.


four years. and my dry spell may end. raise your glass to that! (hopefully this works.)