i had a good new years. i think i brought in 2012 right. i did things that are so unlike my character. why not be outside of my comfort zone? we're all dying in 2012 according to the myans anyway, right?
i spend my new years eve with a guy. (!!) i did. i'm sure some of my readers have their mouths open right now. i know, i know. it was fun while it lasted. it was nice to have the attention of a male. then i came home to my thoughts.
while i know there are no "titles" and there are certain gray areas with the situation with this guy, i still feel confused as to where it is going. him: single dad, 5 months out of relationship with child's mom, no job but just finished school and searching, knowingly says he doesn't want a relationship. my first reaction is to run far away. the ... "this happened, it was fun.. but it was nice knowing you" .. idea. but we were friends first. so, the situation is hairy.
i want to cut him off. but i like the attention. i want a plan of action. but i'm not sure what that plan should be. there weren't any emotions involved.. and i'd be lying if i said it didn't bother me. i'm a girl, after all. i like feeling wanted.. and being told compliments. reassurance. i made an effort to dress up and wanted a little more verbally. and there was a text from a girl so i know i'm not the only one. i'm not mad about it; just having an internal battle with my heart and my head.