Monday, February 4, 2013

explaining gay to a five-year-old

i passed by a local dentist's office today that has a marquee out front. each week, they change the message on the sign. typically i don't think twice about what it says. it's usually something nice, meaningful, and sweet but let's just say..... i'm not the most "sunshine" person in the world. i love a good quote, don't get me wrong, but usually everything is silly and contrite. i like substance.

anyway, back to the recent quote. We need not think alike to love alike

i wish that i had thought of this when my relationship ended. this is what i have always believed but never capable of putting into words.  i think it'd be rather boring to  be with someone that was exactly like me. what would you banter back and forth about? what would there be to talk about? no way.

beyond my past relationships, it also made me think of a talk i had with luke two weeks ago. we had a talk about being gay. and before anyone leaves me hate comments/emails/texts/phone calls, let me say that i believe that everyone parents differently. i certainly don't expect everyone to think that talking about sexuality with a five-year-old is something they'd want to do. but i'm the type of parent that does; i don't want anything to be off limits or taboo. i want us to have open conversation as it was with my mom growing up. so, i'll proceed.

i was watching a movie two weeks ago when luke perked up in the middle of it. he caught that the woman was really angry and yelling/crying at her son. so naturally, he asked me why she was so upset. 

i said, "well, she just found out her son is gay." he seemed confused. he certainly isn't one to let something he's confused about go so i knew we would have  some explaining. he asked what gay meant.

"well, sometimes boys and men like other boys and men. sometimes girls like other girls. they don't want to have a relationship with someone that isn't what kind of person they are." he asked if i could give an example.

"you know how i had a boyfriend, ryan? well... that's because i like boys. you know sarah? you know how she has a girlfriend, tommiah?" he nodded. 

"they love each other and they are girls."  he began to understand. he asked if i knew any gay men. i gave him an example..... and then like that, he just said....

"so why is his mama mad that he likes a boy and not a girl?" .. 

"well, some people think that a boy that likes a boy or a girl that likes another girl, that they are a bad person or God doesn't like that. that they aren't being good Christians." 

and what did my five-year-old say?

"well that isn't nice. i thought we are suppose to love everybody? why does she care who he loves?"

.....proud parent moment. if only the world would think like my five-year-old.

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