Saturday, September 24, 2011

advice to newly single mamas.

what i have learned in the past 4 years:

- make sure you have wipes in your car and in your purse. .. you just never know. even past the age of diapers, there will be messes and you’re going to kick yourself if you don’t have them.

- use the first fews years to do what you want. do what YOU want to accomplished. this will change when it is your child’s turn to have a life. (ie- soccer games, school commitments, etc.) get everything out of your way before the age of 4. or be like me: online classes. they are fabulous.

- accept support and help! without my mom, aunts, cousin, and select few friends.. i don’t know what i’d do. it really does take a village to raise a child.. especially if you’re a single mom.

- take lots of self portraits with your child! if you don’t, you’ll never have pictures of yourself with your child. don’t think it’s silly; you just don’t have anyone to take them for you! i made it a tradition to take one a week when he was small. now we do them on major outings or special occasions.. like the first day of school.

- if the daddy isn’t involved, don’t sugar-coat it. they will ask. you just have to tell them the truth. this also goes without saying.. never badmouth your ex in front of your child. never.

- find a special place for just the two of you. “your space”. my son and i go to atlanta. it is 1.5 hours away. it is our place to go. only us. he thinks it is so special.

- when you do start dating, do.not. let your child meet every man you date. only the special ones. and only after you are truly certain they will be around for awhile. luke has met one man in 4 years.

- know that if and when you break up with someone, your child is breaking up with them as well. they will hurt right along with you.

- get a dependable car. seriously. you do not want to get stranded due to car problems. chances are, you don’t know how to fix the problem and without a manly man, the cost will be pricey. so bite the bullet. get something that will work and last.

  what about you other people out there? what advice do you have to share?


  1. This is such great advice and I completely agree with each and every one of them especially the one about meeting every guy you date. When I eventually start dating (in a very long time from now) I will be very careful as to who I'll introduce to my daughter.

    My advice is to take some time out for yourself sans kids. Go for a facial, go for drinks with girlfriends or go take a book and read somewhere quiet. It's so important to take some special alone time.

  2. very good advice...probably my biggest 'advice' is DO not date too soon! Heal!! and then LEARN how to be alone and like YOU!! it will make you a healthier person IN and OUT of a relationship!!