Tuesday, May 24, 2011

a broken heart is physical pain. i promise.

i have literally used my inhaler to get me through today. right now, i am hyperventilating. it took four years to trust men again. four years. it has been crushed in three months. i am beyond hurting. let me recap.

jan 1- my dad sends a text disowning me.

feb- i met C.

two weeks ago - my brother sends me a text disowning me.

friday- some people pretending to be an online work from home, turn out to be a scam. . sending me a 2k check to deposit.. only for it to overdraw my account.

two days ago- i try to speak with my brother in front of employees at target. he walks away.

yesterday- i lost C.

today- my dentist calls to tell me i'd have to pay 2k to have the root canal i need. i can't pay that so i find another dentist who tells me the other dentist has used most of my money for the year so i will have to pay out of pocket for most of my root canal that i desperately need. this root canal almost sent me to the er last night it hurt so bad.

the reason i have been waiting to move to columbus was to find out if i got into nursing school. the letter was in the mailbox saying i didnt when i got home.

i'm on the verge of a serious mental breakdown and that is putting it mildly.
i wish C would reconsider his decision. i do. we had a great relationship. we got along. we had the same values. he took care of me. he talked about me when i wasn't there. everything.

he applied for a job in a town i'd never live. without asking me what i thought.

i prayed every night that his health would be ok. i took care of him when he had an allergic reaction. i would have done ANYTHING. i wanted abby in wedding one day.. omg. .

this is so easy for him. he deleted luke's pictures immediately. why do i have to be in pain? why am i suffering?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

i'm having trouble breathing.

No comments:

Post a Comment