Monday, August 8, 2011

what i DO have

feeling needed, wanted, and unconditionally loved are basic human needs. i sometimes wonder if i'm ever going to be content with just being alone. if raising my son is "enough". but what happens when he leaves to better himself? soon, i won't be his world. instead he'll have his own group of friends he wants to talk to and play with. what will i do then?

it is so easy to focus on what i could have but what about what i do have? i can't complain. i could always tell you all of the things that would improve my life but what good will that do? i have it pretty good now.
  1. my son is healthy and smart.
  2. i have a roof over my head and food on the table.
  3. i have a strong relationship with my mother.
  4. hands down, i know at least 3 ladies who would pick up the phone at all hours to talk to me.
  5. i have a job and a car.
  6. i get aid to attend school (that i have an 'a' in)
  7. i have an improving relationship with God.
  8. i have this blog as an outlet.
  9. i have books to read when i'm bored and/or lonely.
  10. a supportive family.

i could list so much more.  the point is. all of this and my heart is still longing for someone to give it to. i wish i was stronger sometimes. i'm just an "all in" type of girl. i wasn't cut out for dating.

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