i had a long talk with the OG, G-O-D last night. i'm feel a whole heckova (heck-of-a, duh) lot better today. here's the thing: i'm going to have a degree soon. with that will come financial independence. with that i'll be able to have my *own* little place in the world to call home. with that i will more than likely, move to the ATL. so, you know. with that comes a lot of things.
after reading over some other single mama's blogs, (even ones who are recently remarried) i decided ya know... i don't actually need a man. sure, i love spooning sometimes. and men's cologne drives me insane but really? i've been doing okay the past four years. my kiddo is pretty well-rounded. he's smart. he loves his mama and family. and what more do i need? of course, i'm not ready to be done having children. i had little dude at 24. be done reproducing at 24? no way. and when the time comes (and the money and house), i can always go to a sperm bank or something. i'm being dead serious.
maybe there isn't a "one" for me. maybe my happy ending isn't marriage and a white picket fence. i've never been the "normal girl" anyway. why did i think i would follow the normal order of things?
this is all to say. i'm ok without a man. i always have been. it's just that sometimes when you look around, or get a taste of how good it can be, i get a little sad and want that. but if that is in my plan, it will happen. i can't go looking for it. shoot. i want to be pursued! not the other way around! you want me? prove it!
yes! see? i'm ok! i had a little fun at work today.