sometimes parenting is overwhelming. there isn't a time when you can clap your hands and say "time out!" just a break, sometimes. especially as a single mom. i had a long day at work today.
we are getting a new computer system this year which requires cleaning up the old program and profiles (think: patients since 2002). we do this alphabetically but it requires lots of time and patience. you take your personal time for granted before you have children. personal time is nonexistent with a four year old.
i try not to complain; i have an amazing mom who is pretty much another mother to my little dude. she allows me to sleep in sometimes. she takes care of him when i'm at work and she's off. so really, i have it good. it is like having a father or something? a partner. better than a husband, probably. sometimes i need to yell "cut!" and go to the next scene.
today for instance. i had that rough day at work. i picked my kiddo up from my cousin's house only to find out he has been in a "needy" mood today. ok, fine. i can handle needy. we proceeded to load up into the car where i asked what he'd like to eat for dinner. sushi. we are leaving for florida saturday. sushi isn't take out and i'm trying to save my pennies for fun days on vacation.
of course, he doesn't understand this concept. he interprets this as me being mean and not doing what he wants. true, i shouldn't have even asked him what he wanted. my mistake. so, he proceeds to cry. i mean- LOUD, sobbing, life-is-ending, crying. are you kidding me? because of sushi?? so, chik-fi-la sounded good to me. he only cries louder. good.grief.someone.give.me.a.break.
we finally get home. 30 minutes later, of course. he stops crying and inhales his chicken nuggets. it didn't stop there. it has been everything since. it is always something. the dogs tripped him. the toy he wants he can't find. he doesn't want to watch my show. mad that i have asked him three times to put his toys away. etc etc.
i know he's tired. hell, i'm tired too. i need patience. and understanding. i feel like i'm burning the candle at both ends (that is how the metaphor goes, right? i don't use them often). luckily, i'm off tomorrow. oh-but we have six shots to get for pre-school.. yippee!!!!!!!!!
i wish i was a girl who had perfect hair, perfectly manicured nails/toes, and eyes without dark circles under them. the girl that promptly sends out thank you notes for the gifts last week. truthfully, i've never had hair without frizz or a manicure/pedicure in my life. i've tried hemorrhoid cream for those dark circles. it doesn't work! but really, if i was that kind of girl.. i wouldn't be me. so, i'll haphazardly proceed with my crazy life with a smile. (sometimes)
so, what do you ladies/gentlemen do to relax? i'm thinking i need a hobby or a friend or something. what do you recommend?
ps- many nights lately i've found myself being the only one awake in the house watching jackass and laughing loudly. i'm SO sad about ryan dunn. his poor, poor family and friends. prayers to them.