Monday, June 27, 2011


i've been praying each night for a good thing to come. something to take my mind off of the past. to accept the things i can not change (that is the prayer for twelve step meetings, right?). i asked for strength. a sign, even. i've needed someone to provide a backbone when i haven't been able to stand straight lately.

luke and i pray every night. ever since having him, prayer has been something we do. i can't raise a child without a village.. and especially someone to watch over him when i can't. when i became pregnant, i really looked to God to help me all of the stressors i faced. i prayed for a healthy child. i prayed for the strength to be a single mom.

don't worry, i have failed many times. i will continue to fail because after all, i am human. i use profanity in stressful situations. i have a LOT to work on. i judge people... although i have to admit, this is something i have really focused on and feel i've come a long way.

anyway, the point is.  i always ask for things i want... and sometimes things i need. not always do i act christian-like, but i am. i struggle. i feel sorry for myself when i know others have it harder. i yell at my child rather than keep my composure sometimes. but i do thank God everyday for the things i DO have/need.

a healthy, smart little boy who loves me more than anything.
a mom and family who support and help me.
who love each other through thick and thin.
a job.. in this economy.
a reliable car to get me places.
a house to live in. food.
MY health.

sometimes, it doesn't feel like but he does listen to my prayers. and


  1. Oh he is aware. He is listening and he knows what u need and what u can handle. Don't doubt that and don't give up. Have trust continually.....

  2. Hi, Rachael. Thank you for leaving a comment on my blog recently. I have been thinking of you and praying for you often...I am sorry for the struggles that you face...I imagine that the vacation brought about mixed emotions.

    It's not easy being a single's not easy losing someone that you loved and that you placed your hopes in..."hope deferred makes the heart sick"...I know this scripture verse all too well...

    I will keep praying for you and your son. May the God of all Grace, Mercy and Love rain down His abundant blessings and guide you into peace and love. May you know the feeling of His arms physically around you and your son.